THE LOWDOWN

When you hit “How to get there” on the Beechfield House website, the first option you have is “By helicopter” followed by “By chauffeur”, which gives you an idea of the type clientele they’re expecting. I took the third option, “By car, train or aeroplane” and came on four wheels. If you do the same and are coming from London or Bristol take the M4; from the South take the M3 – whichever way you choose to come it’s easy to find and the welcome is as warm as the heated outdoor swimming pool.

Built in the late 1800’s, this impressive Victorian building near Melksham and Bath was originally built for a gentleman farmer, Richard Keevil, whose initials are carved over the bay window. It remained a family home until the 1960’s when it was turned into a hotel, which locals remember well (in fact my breakfast waitresses said her mum worked there in the 1980’s). But it looked completely different. Now the current owners have totally transformed it into a breath of contemporary city air with 24 rooms in an otherwise rural locale.

THE VIBE

Wiltshire’s blessed with many grand old homes now converted into hotels and conference centres. They’re usually decked out with contemporary country styling – ye olde flagstone floors, Farrow and Ball walls and mismatched vintage wooden furniture. But here the décor’s punchy and playful – a mid-century modern aesthetic meets Country Life, jollied-up by large statement artwork, fashionable furniture and rich deep colours like reds and plum-purples (the billboards at the entrance are purple as is much of the upholstery). It feels more like one of the Soho House members’ clubs than a boutique Wiltshire hotel and the ideal place for some laid-back partying. Just look at the decadent dining room below for a taster.

When you enter, there’s a dedicated cocktail bar to the left, dressed with an enormous retro gilt-frame mirror, 1950’s-esque cocktail prints, velvet covered sage green tub chairs and a burnt orange sofa, plus shiny bar, all open to non-residents.

To the right, The Morning Room is a complete contrast, with its elegant hardbacked chairs, ornate antique mirror frame and small low-glass tables; this is where they serve their infamous afternoon teas (which I am yet to try) from about 2.30pm daily, again open to non-residents too.

The Morning Room at Beechfield House – where afternoon tea is served

There are also two private dining rooms often hired out for corporate meetings or intimate dinners, decorated with deep rich walls and wallpapers, book-lined shelves and large tables. It could be all a bit Lord of the Manor but the quirky modern accessories like a giant ceramic gourds, dimpled pottery bottles and giant playing card prints of the Royal cards and Aces turn these spaces into a Millionaire’s Playground instead. These bombastic contrasts of oversized ornaments all over the place give this hotel the edge over most county house hotels in the county.

Just down the hall, the Breakfast Room is neatly presented with a grand cut-glass chandelier in the centre of the room, small square tables, dark teal walls and a view of the terrace and pool. However, the bold, colourful artwork transforms this space from wet wellies to, well, Muddy Stilettos.

But the cherry tomato on the vine has to be the outside terrace and heated pool, which has the feel of a well-kept French resort. Planted with a romantic flower border including lavender and foxgloves, it’s a treat, especially as it’s not officially in use until 8am (to prevent you being woken up from kids divebombing onto their inflatable unicorns before decent waking hour o’clock). However, there is a soundtrack of white traffic noise, but the general convivial ambience cancels it out.

You’re invited to help yourself to cushions for the sunloungers from the little wooden shed which is a nice touch typical of Beechfield – the attitude to service is efficient but relaxed. There’s a shelf of games in one of the corridor and a pile of blue and white pool towels at reception for you to take as and when, but when you need something from the staff, it’s there in an instant. They have the right balance between looking after your needs and staying discreetly in the background.

SCOFF AND QUAFF

As you’d expect from a such a good-quality boutique hotel with 4 AA Red Star dining, much of the food is made on site and actually as much as possible is grown in their kitchen garden which is just out of view near the staff area. I went to have a little look though and found a greenhouse bursting with tomato plants and lots of lush green things growing in beds..not being blessed with cucumber-coloured fingers I can’t tell what they all where but they’re bound to end up being delicious on your plate.

I sat outside by the pool for my supper, with a family of two grown-up daughters and their mum at one table and a visiting French family at the other.

I was surprised at the menu’s casual design and content, but when I heard the laid-back, chillout tunes being piped onto the patio I realised that the relaxed vibe is all part of the experience. I ordered an Espresso Martini as an aperitif and a glass of Pinot Grigio for my feast. Apparently large groups often book their events here and you can see why – it’s stylish but not stuffy and all geared around hotel guests having a good time when appropriate rather than a silent time all the time.

I sipped my Pinot and tucked into my starter. I’d chosen the Swordfish Sashimi, which looked so pretty in sunshine colours with its fresh, citrusy drizzle (that had a mustardy-kick) and generous piece of fish.

Then (vegans and vegetarians please look away), I had the 8 oz Rump Steak with beautifully layered, soft and well-seasoned Dauphinoise potatoes and an unctuous peppercorn sauce, contrasted with sweetly roasted cherry tomatoes on the vine.

I wasn’t going to plump for dessert but then I remembered my brief – try everything – so thought that the Rhubarb Frangipane Tart with rhubarb was probably going to look good on my grid – and I was right! I have to admit it the tart wasn’t as soft as I expected, but the sorbet was so flavoursome it made up for it.

PILLOW TALK

All that guzzling over and it was time for my zeds. Luckily my room – Elm, in the Coach House – was peaceful despite overlooking the pool. Like the main house, it was decorated in deep but glamorous tones and textures, like erotic reds and herby greens, with soft lighting and dark furniture and a quirky refurbed retro phone -again in plum. I didn’t try the shower until the next morning, after a much-needed dip in the pool before the kids were released from their rooms. I can confirm the shower was a treat, especially the Temple Spa products.

Breakfast has to get a special mention for the homemade granola and the ‘build your own museli’ bar with a sweet-shop selection of dried fruit, nuts and grains and creamy Greek yoghurt. I had seconds. By contrast, I would have liked the cooked options to have been more ‘homemade and local’ (like homemade baked beans and bread baked in-house). But when you think you can have as much as you want from the buffet and the hot menu, you realise that you’re getting a good deal and maybe forgoing your artisan sourdough with zero food miles is a small price to pay for all you can eat (in my case, a lot).

OUT AND ABOUT

As I mentioned earlier, Beechfield House can accomodate groups celebrating milestones, wedding parties, friends’ catch-ups and so on. But holiday-making families and tourists also set up camp here too, making it a base from which to explore West Wiltshire. Manager Ryan told me that guests were staying there to visit Bradford on Avon, Bath, Longleat Safari Park, Centre Parcs, Stonehenge and even Salisbury.

ANYTHING ELSE?

The pool isn’t open to non-residents, but coffee, cocktails, dining and afternoon teas are.

THE MUDDY VERDICT

GOOD FOR: Large but intimate get-togethers where everyone can relax, eat and drink in a welcoming atmosphere that’s still stylish – kids and dogs welcome too. Also great if you like a design-conscious, mid-century, artistic aesthetic – and of course – an outdoor pool.

BAD FOR: Intimate couples weekends or silent retreats. This is quite a sociable, chatty hotel that encourages you to sway, swim, play, chat and eat, rather than retire to your room with a mug of matcha or the Karma Sutra. You get the feeling deals could be done around the pool and impromptu Ibizan-style parties errupt.

THE DAMAGE: This isn’t a cheap-as-chips hotel, but the B&B rates are value-for-money when you think you both the pool and very large breakfast are included. Book direct for the best rates. Rooms from £149.00. Dinner starts from £18.50 for a salad.

Beechfield House Hotel, Beanacre, Wiltshire, SN12 7PU. Tel: +44 (0)1225 703700

Muddy Review: Beechfield House near Bath

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