Wiltshire


<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/empty-nest-advice.jpg" alt="how to cope when child leaves home " class="wp-image-38135" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/empty-nest-advice.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/empty-nest-advice-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/empty-nest-advice-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/empty-nest-advice-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Whether your little darling has just toddled off in an oversized uniform, is striding into secondary, or disappearing in a cloud of Pot Noodles and Ikea bags to university, the transitions of motherhood are <em>a lot</em>. Pride, excitement, relief &#8211; all tangled up with a healthy dose of dread (and yes, the ugly cry on the drive home).</p>



<p>Life and career coach <a href="https://www.kateoatleycoaching.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Kate Oatley</a> knows it well. ‘When my youngest started school, I remember standing at the gate feeling like I was peering into the crater of a volcano – part thrill, part dread,’ she admits. ‘And when my eldest left for uni? I soaked up every moment of her last year at home, only to still cry all the way home… and collect a speeding ticket en route.’</p>



<p>Change can be liberating, unsettling and downright disorientating, but the good news? You <em>will</em> find your rhythm again. Here are Kate’s top tips to help you adjust when your nest suddenly feels a little emptier.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/01/Kate-Oatley-Coaching-5-@storiesbychloe-Chloe-Williams.jpg" alt="Kate Oatley Coaching" class="wp-image-35506" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/01/Kate-Oatley-Coaching-5-@storiesbychloe-Chloe-Williams.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/01/Kate-Oatley-Coaching-5-@storiesbychloe-Chloe-Williams-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/01/Kate-Oatley-Coaching-5-@storiesbychloe-Chloe-Williams-768x511.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Image: Chloe Williams / @storiesbychloe </figcaption></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-cry-then-carry-on"><strong>1. Cry, then carry on</strong></h2>



<p>Tempted to squash those emotions down with a vat of Pinot Grigio? Don’t. Kate says giving yourself permission to feel is the first step in moving forward. ‘Label what’s going on (“I feel grief,” “I feel pride,” “I feel fear”) and you’ll start calming the brain’s panic response,’ she says. ‘Journal it, say it out loud, bawl in the car — once acknowledged, those feelings lose some of their sting.’</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-be-prepared"><strong>2. Be prepared</strong></h2>



<p>Big milestones like university land easier if you’ve pictured them in advance. ‘Before my daughter started uni, I visualised her leaving and chatted to friends about the mix of emotions,’ says Kate. ‘By the time the day came, I felt steadier &#8211; still tearful, but mentally ready. Visualisation, talking, and even small rituals (like planning a farewell meal) can make transitions feel less like a shock and more like a rite of passage.’</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/07/woman-running-pixabay.jpg" alt="woman running pixabay" class="wp-image-37429" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/07/woman-running-pixabay.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/07/woman-running-pixabay-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/07/woman-running-pixabay-768x511.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-fill-the-void-with-something-fun"><strong>3. Fill the void (with something fun)</strong></h2>



<p>When children start school or university and the chaos of everyday parenting shifts, it can feel like a void opens up. The antidote? Fill that space with things that light <em>you</em> up. ‘Fill that space with things that nurture&nbsp;<em>you</em>,’ says Kate. ‘When my youngest started school, the quiet turned into an opportunity: I went back to university to train as a teacher (ending up teaching my son in Year 1 during placement was perhaps a step too far!). Whether it’s studying, a new hobby, reconnecting with friends, or simply taking more time outdoors, making plans ensures you feel purpose and joy beyond your role as Mum.’</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-love-them-but-loosen-the-reins">4. Love them… but loosen the reins</h2>



<p>Whether your kids are seven or 17, the trick is to balance closeness with independence. ‘If they’re going to uni, agree on how you’ll stay in touch,’ says Kate.’ Perhaps a weekly call, or a quick daily text &#8211; but resist the urge to check in constantly.’</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-with-empty-nest.jpg" alt="how to cope with empty nest" class="wp-image-38139" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-with-empty-nest.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-with-empty-nest-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-with-empty-nest-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-with-empty-nest-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-see-this-as-growth-yours-too">5. See this as growth (yours too)</h2>



<p>An empty nest isn’t just an ending — it’s a beginning. This is your chance to rediscover parts of yourself that may have been parked for years. ‘Shift your mindset from loss to possibility,’ says Kate. ‘To help, try writing down three things this new stage makes possible for&nbsp;<em>you</em>.’ That could be anything from travel to a career shift, or simply having control of the TV remote again.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-expect-a-wobble">6. Expect a wobble</h2>



<p>When Kate’s daughter left for university, she says she felt grief for months. ‘Only around Christmas did I feel fully adjusted,’ she admits. ‘Big changes don’t come with a neat emotional schedule, so give yourself grace, surround yourself with people who get it.’ Remember wobbles are to be expected, adjustment does come.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-when-kids-start-school.jpg" alt="how to cope when kids start school" class="wp-image-38137" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-when-kids-start-school.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-when-kids-start-school-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-when-kids-start-school-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/wilts/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2025/09/how-to-cope-when-kids-start-school-768x512.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-7-career-comeback-anyone">7. Career comeback, anyone?</h2>



<p>For many mums, the empty nest brings a big question: <em>what’s next for me?</em> If you’re eyeing the workplace again or fancy a change of direction, start by reflecting on your strengths and passions. ‘The psychology tells us that we’re more motivated, productive, and fulfilled when our work aligns with our natural strengths,’ says Kate. ‘Take time to reflect on what you enjoy, what energises you, and what you’re good at. There are lots of free online tools to help, and working with a career coach can give you guidance, accountability, and the space to figure out not just what you can do but what you want to do.’</p>



<p><strong>See </strong><a href="https://www.kateoatleycoaching.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><strong>here</strong></a><strong> to find out more about Kate’s life and career coaching.</strong></p>


Kids off to school or uni? Here’s how to survive the empty nest

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